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Sir is the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill, located in Paltryville. Sir's real name is never mentioned, though several attempts are made, as according to Sir, nobody can ever say it correctly. When the children ask what his name is he says to just call him Sir. He is the ex-mentor of the Dark Master, as well as the Emperor of Shadows.

Equally obscure is Sir's appearance. Sir's entire head is hidden by a thick layer of smoke from his ever-burning cigar. He shows little or no concern for either the Baudelaire orphans or his employees, whom he pays in coupons and provides an unsatisfying meal of chewing gum. A possible reason he is so mean and greedy is that, according to Charles, he had a very terrible childhood.

In the end of The Miserable Mill, he fires the Baudelaires, and sends them to Prufrock Preparatory (boarding school), claiming that they were too much trouble. He later appeared in book the twelfth: The Penultimate Peril. On the cover of the book, a man can be seen with smoke in front of his face, but it may not be Sir because he was known to smoke cigars, not pipes. It is thought that he is on the fire-starting side of the schism because he loves the smell of burning wood. In the The Penultimate Peril, Charles and Sir were talking, Charles said he thought Sir would never hear from the V.F.D. again. It hints that Sir knows about V.F.D., but he may not be a part of it. It is implied that Lucky Smells Lumber Mill built Hotel Denouement in the middle of the night. There is much speculation about Sir and V.F.D. He seems to care only about what is good for the lumber industry. He tells the Baudelaires that if they cause anymore trouble at the Mill, he will give them to Shirley (Olaf in disguise). There is much confusion on this. Sir could be totally clueless and justs wants to get the Baudelaire children out of the Mill because he thinks they are causing the Mill to go down, of he could be part of some sinister purpose to help Olaf get the Baudelaire fortune.

Sir may or may not have perished in the fire at the Hotel Denouement at the end of The Penultimate Peril, where he was residing with Charles on vacation.

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